Revisiting
by Will Sing For Ginseng
Summary: Fifteen years after the war, Katara lives on Kyoshi Island with her illegitimate son, Lee. Katara has enjoyed her respite from the world, but her secretive past in the Fire Nation calls, and she cannot stifle her baggage anymore. It is time for her to face Lee's father, and the struggles he is facing. [Post War] [Katara, Zuko] My first ff; please leave constructive criticisms!
1. Chapter 1

"La-dammit!" the boy shrieked.

His mother's hand whipped across his face not a beat after the curse left his lips. He turned back to meet her cold stare. "You will never speak to me that way again," she growled. The boy held her cerulean stare defiantly. But his mother was not a woman to break the eye-contact first. He was old enough to recognize that, at least. His golden gaze fell and he blinked at his shoes before he mumbled a weak apology.

"Apology accepted." She replied firmly, "This conversation is over."

The boy looked up to his mother again pleadingly.

"It will only be over when you finally finish it" his quavering voice was rising again with all of the righteous indignation that he had inherited from his mother.

"That day is not today," the fight was gone from her, just like that.

He realized that he was not going to get anywhere with her this time. He grumbled and stomped off to his room with all the surliness that only a fourteen year old could muster.

The mother sighed with exasperation. A knock sounded at the front door. "Come in," the woman called.

Suki swept inside, meekly. "Did I interrupt something?" she winced. Katara skook her head, "Where we that loud?"

"I heard you shouting from the road," Suki admitted. "Everything ok?"

Katara rolled her head, dramatically. "Come sit out back with me and we'll talk," she said as she looked at the recently slammed bedroom door.

Suki smiled weakly, "Point taken."

The garden behind the modest house was breath-taking. Flowers of every color danced in the wind, lighting up the world even on a cloudy day as it was. They grew in such a natural way, but they were well-groomed enough to betray their gardener's devotion. The master waterbender had a competitive edge where green thumbs were concerned. Where the ground was not covered in a leafy rainbow, a dirt path ran in no particular direction. And against the house's exterior, beautiful pots held fragrant herbs ranging in every use from teas to medicinal remedies to cooking spices. A small wooden table flanked by some matching chairs sat in the corner of the miniature forest. Katara set two cups down and filled them with an aromatic tea. Suki sat and took a sip. And raised an curious eyebrow at her sister-in-law. Katara huffed in response. "You have to tell him eventually," Suki ventured.

"I know I do." She shrugged. "But I can't. Not yet."

"Then when?" Suki pressed, not unkindly.

"He's still so young," Katara protested. "He's just a boy. And his life is still so simple. I don't want to complicate it yet."

Suki nodded sympathetically, "I understand what you mean. But he's not as young as you'd have him be. You were his age when you and his father met."

Katara bit her lip, unable to stop the flow of memories that flashed through her mind. She remembered fourteen. She remembered the horrors she saw. She remembered mothering Aang, Sokka, and Toph before she ever became a mother. She remembered what they all went through together, and how she tried to pretend she was strong to keep them together no matter what. And then she remembered the boy that she never pretended with. The boy who always saw her as she was.

She shook her head, pushing the images away. That naïve little girl was gone. A jaded woman took her place. And the boy that stole her heart was now a stone-faced man sitting on a throne far, far away.

"That's what's so terrifying," Katara confessed.

Suki reached across the table and placed a reassuring hand on Katara's. "Maybe you're underestimating him. I mean, think of all the things we handled at his age."

"That was a different story," Katara countered solemnly. "We were all robbed of our childhoods. We had to handle it. We had no choice. And we didn't handle it all very well. The best of us even died trying." Katara once again failed to block the images of her past. Aang's carefree smile. Toph's crude chuckle. They were too young to have to wield the great power they held. And too young to face all that the world had placed on them. And too young to die.

"I tell him when he's older."

"You told him that when he was a child." Suki reminded.

"He still _is_ a child," Katara said defensively.

"On the edge of becoming a man, Katara. He's stronger than you give him credit for. And he's growing up faster than you're willing to realize. He will never stop wanting to know, and the more you keep it from him, the more resentful he will grow. Don't push him away." Suki knew her words were not what Katara wanted to hear, so she pleaded gently with her.

She was right, Katara knew. She had always known. But with her confession to her son came all the baggage that she had worked so long to bury. She would have to face that too, eventually. The thought terrified her. But she knew it was what she needed. Her excuse that Lee was too young was failing. And all the while, she too was growing older. He was almost a man now. His golden eyes were beginning to lose some of their childhood glee. And his unruly nest of brown curls now hung past his shoulders. The baby fat had fallen from his face, and Katara had politely not commented on the brown fuzz that he had yet to try to shave from his chin. He had his father's obstinate nature, that she knew for certain. And as it was with her father, she would only be able to refuse him for so long.

"Soon," Katara finally conceded.

Suki seemed to accept Katara's strained reply. She gracefully changed the subject, "So have you seen Kinu lately?" Suki pryed with a sly grin.

"Not this again," Katara rolled her eyes. Suki giggled, "Come on, Katara. You can't stay celibate forever! You're still young. And all the men on Kyoshi have taken note of that too!"

"I have not been celibate forever!" Katara protested.

"The awkward fling with Haru doesn't count," Suki joked. "And that was like four years ago!"

"Are you going to tell me why you came over in the first place?" Katara evaded.

"Fine," Suki smiled with concession, "Sokka will be back tomorrow, and I wanted your help preparing a nice dinner for when he arrives."

"Of course," Katara replied, "But Kinu isn't going to be there!"

"You're no fun," Suki laughed.


	2. Chapter 2

_...Please regard this letter with all the pragmatism that I know mom gave you. You know I would not call upon you unless it was completely necessary. But I can't handle this alone. And Aang needs is us. And Toph too tied up with her family's financial allegiances to be able to afford to take sides. I hope you'll understand._

_I love you, _

_Sokka._

Katara let the letter fall to the table before she sunk into the chair and rested her suddenly heavy head on her fist. She had hoped like hell that this day would never come. The very thought of returning to the Fire Nation, even as an ambassador, made her feel weak. She would have to leave Lee. He couldn't be there for that. He was too young. He wouldn't be able to handle it. And Katara wasn't sure if even she could. No, she would have to make arrangements for him to go stay with Suki. He liked visiting the south pole now that he was older. And Suki would understand.

And just the thought of seeing Aang too. Katara's head hadn't stopped spinning since she read the letter. It had been fifteen years. The early years had been painful. It had taken a while for Katara and Lee to settle into Kyoshi. At first, she had feared what the people would say about her being such a young, single mother. But she soon realized that the people of Kyoshi were not open-minded only for their girl warriors. They were accepting of all peaceable pilgrims. Somehow, she had carved a nice life for the two of them in this small corner of the world. She taught fighting, healing and waterbending for a living. She had made friends with some of the warrior women and other young mothers. She was a part of this community. And Lee had made friends too. Calm as he was, he still enjoyed splashing in the waves of the white Kyoshi beaches with other boys of the island. Although the sight or mention of any girl woud make him blush and clam up in a way that made Katara laugh.

Still, for many early years, Katara felt pain when she looked in Lee's eyes and saw his father's. But she could love him no less for it. No, if anything, she loved him more for it.

He had grown into a kind, somber boy. He was smart, and adept at waterbending. At only fourteen years old, he was showing signs of mastery. He would soon be able to outmatch even her. And he would have given Pakku a run for his money. Katara was very proud of this boy she had managed to raise all on her own.

Then as the years went on, the hurt in her heart softened into a meer dull pain. It was almost ignorable. And no one had bothered her for it. Sokka and Suki understood the most. They visited often and brought Lee's many cousins. And when they weren't there, they each wrote to her often. And to Lee.

Katara had even befriended Ty Lee, who fell into the Kyoshi warrior ranks effortlessly. She taught them chi blocking, and they taught her the art of fan-fighting. And the entire rank of women became even more formidable because of it.

This was her home, her comfort zone. The world had not needed her for all that time, and she had almost forgotten that anything besides Kyoshi even existed.

Until Sokka's letter arrived.

"And be good for your Aunt Suki. If she needs anything, you obey her."

The boy in front of Katara nodded obediently. He was bundled from chin to toe in a giant blue parka, that hid his young, sinewy muscle. His cheeks were flushed from the biting breeze.

"And be nice to your cousins, even if they get annoying. And Aunt Suki can't do any heavy lifting this far along in her pregnancy, so you help her around the house, okay?"

The boy smirked at his mother's worrying and nodded. Katara smiled at him and tears began to blur her vision. This would be the first time she would ever be away from her sweet boy. The thought suddenly occured to her that she wouldn't be able to read story scrolls with him at night. And she wouldn't be able to enjoy quiet nights with him where they would drink tea out of the same cup, by the fire. And Suki would'nt know how to comb down his cowlick every morning. She wondered if Suki knew how he liked his sea prunes boiled.

Before she knew it, the tears had slipped from her eyes and down her nose. She put her hands on his shoulders and kissed his forehead, before pulling him into an embrace. She sniffled, but not from the chilling wind.

Lee hugged her back, "I'll be okay, mom. I promise. And I'm not mad at you for going, either. I understand."

Katara choked down more tears. How had she been able to raise such a sweet, kind, sensitive boy all on her own. The gods had over-blessed her, she decided. She nodded her head and released him. She dried some stray tears with the back of her mitten, "I love you, Lee. So much." Her voice still shook with emotion, but Lee pretended not to notice.

The boy smiled up at his mother with eyes wise beyond their years, "I love you, too, mom. So so much."

Sokka stepped up and swung an arm around his sister. "We had better get going," he said to Katara. He turned to the boy, "You're the man of the house while we're gone, okay, Lee?"

Lee chuckled and nodded, "You got it, Uncle Sokka."

Sokka grinned back at his nephew and ruffled the boy's hair affectionately before turning to lead his sister to the ship.

Katara stole on last glance back at her son. But the wind began to pick up, and all she saw was two gold eyes through the snow.

Her first night on the ship, Katara paced her cabin, unsure of what to do with herself. She had grown so used to making Lee's dinner every night. Then meditating with him, before enjoying a cup of tea with the boy. After that, they would read story scrolls, and she would kiss him goodnight. Then she would finish writing her letters, bathe, and go to bed. But she couldn't sleep tonight. Not without their routine.

Finally, she wandered above deck. The water called her to the ship's railing. There once was a time when the water would call to her to make it dance between her fingers. She would spin giant whips from the waves and hone them into delicate, liquid ribbons. She still loved her bending dearly, but as she aged, she found more comfort in feeling the water. She sensed the way it parted for their ship, and then casually folded into wake behind them, ever moving, ever adapting. Never worrying about where the wind would take it.

She remembered another chapter in her life when she too danced to the wind's fancy. They flew around the world together, never stationary for long. They would travel and make friends, and sometimes settle in for a bit. But then their legs would begin to bounce nervously under the table at dinner, and without so much as even an acknowledging glance, they all knew they would have to fly away again soon.

Katara wondered at how easily she had given that life up. She gave it up once for a man, and then again for his son. It was almost too easy. Both times, she did not even kiss her wanderlust goodbye, because it was so obvious to her what the right choice was, at the time.

But here, on the ship's edge, inhaling the salty aroma that the sea used to lure in its lovers, she felt a sudden peace. The thought of travelling again didn't upset her so much in that moment. Lee was a good, capable boy. And in the company of her home tribe, she knew she had no reason to worry about him.

She sensed Sokka walking up behind her before she heard it. She felt his sure, steady heartbeat. Sure and steady as he was. Sokka had grown from the goofy, reckless boy that he once was into the Cheiftain that the Southern tribe needed. His face had slimmed out. He had grown into his gangly height with new muscle. He still loved to laugh, but now had the wisdom that age brings, that cowed his crude comments into mental submission. And when his hand rested on hers, and she looked up at him, Katara caught fleeting glimpses of their father.

"Thank you," he said, staring out to the ocean. "For coming with me." he added, seriously.

Katara followed his gaze back to the dark horizon, and nodded.

"I know how hard it was for you to make this decision, so I just want you to know how that I appreciate it."

A small silence passed between them, pregnant with understanding. Sokka wordlessly apologized for asking the impossible of her. And Katara quietly forgave him. And knew that the stillness would convey what words could not. She did, however, still want to let her big brother protect her, as he had for the past fifteen years. Without ever being asked, Sokka had forged Katara's sicknote to the rest of the world. She can't make it. She'll be busy that week. Or sometimes he would even let summons go unanswered until the last minute, before excusing her absence with a simple She tried, but something came up.

And elsewhere, it was no secret that the great waterbending master was now a Kyoshian hermit with an illegitimate son. But Sokka kept the questions at bay for her. He weilded his status as a silent threat to those might dare to disturb her from retirement. And for fifteen years, Katara was dearly grateful. But she supposed she always knew a day would come when the world would refuse to allow her to rest in peace. Sokka would not be able to always protect her from the past. And she could not hold that against him.

Katara steeled herself with a heavy inhale, "I'm scared, Sokka." She said with a deliberately even voice.

"I know," Sokka replied, "But we were always scared when we were kids. That never stopped us though. We still did what had to be done. We faced powerful and deranged benders, whole armies, and sea monsters! I think we can survive a simple negotiation with the Earth Kingdom."

Katara smiled at her brother. His humor always kept things in perspective for her. "You know what I mean," she elbowed her brother in the side.

He feigned injury, "Hey! I'm just trying to alleviate the tension!"

Katara rolled her eyes, but giggled in spite of herself.

Sokka patted her on the shoulder as the tension settled back over them, "Look, I know this whole thing is pretty intimidating. But it will all be very professional. No reunion-y, friendly nonsense. It should be over in a weeek or two. With any luck I'll be back in time to watch my son be born."

Katara raised a brow at him, "Son?"

Sokka shrugged, "Three girls, all under ten years old! I figure the spirits have to give me boy eventually!"

"Oh, please! You'd wrestle ten Unagis for those girls, and you know it!" Katara laughed.

Sokka smiled, "Yeah, I probably would. They're my princesses, what can I say?"

Katara couldn't help but smile at the sweetness. If Toph were here, she'd no doubt crack a joke at Sokka's expense, or at least feign a crude gagging noise.

"Lee's quite a kid, too," Sokka nudged his sister.

"He is, isn't he?" She admitted, no small amount of pride beaming from her. "He's so kind, and so smart."

"Like you," Sokka added.

She smiled sheepishly, "But he's also very serious and disciplined... So like his father..."

Sokka threw an arm around his little sister, "You don't need to worry. I'll be there with you. It's going to be fine."

Katara nodded, not convinced.


	3. Chapter 3

Dawn had just broken on the sixth day, when the Fire Nation harbor sneaked into view. They would dock within the hour. Katara began to feel a nausea that had nothing to do with sea sickness. He would be there to greet them. Custom demanded that respect. But Katara imagined that it would only feel like a slap in the face. She scurried below deck to change into more formal wear. She stopped in front her cabin's sink. After splashing her face with water repeatedly, the task of dressing had become only slightly less daunting. When she again arrived above deck in her heavier Water Tribe gown, she felt the humidity weigh on her. It felt heavier than it had ever felt on the balmy Kyoshi summer mornings.

Sokka emerged from below deck a moment later. He held out his hand for her. She thankfully took it. He squeezed her hand reassuringly. "We've got this. We are the children of the Southern Water Tribe, the Avatar's warriors, the defeaters of Fire Lord Ozai, and the best looking people on this gods-forsaken volcanic island!" Katara could not muster a giggle, but managed a weak smile at her brother.

Ship hands scurried around them preparing to dock. Katara and her brother shuffled to keep their footing as the ship grinded to a halt against the dock. Four men extended a board from the deck to the dock, and a woman rolled a blue fabric down to carpet their descent.

Katara kept her eyes on her feet as she strode down the plank in step with her brother. When she stepped off the last inch of blue carpet onto the dock, she steeled herself with a deep breath and forced herself to look up.

A tall man stood before them. He wore heavy black robes with a red mantle. His long, sleek, black hair was tied into a topknot that sported his golden flame comb, making him the unmistakable Fire Lord. As if the scar that covered his left eye didn't serve. Though depspte that, Katara could not ignore how handsome he had grown. The decade and a half had treated him well. Gone was the arrogant, insecure boy. Before her stood a confidant, strong man.

He put his fist into his palm and bowed low. Katara and her brother silently returned the gesture. When she rose again, she found his eyes boring into her, but his face betrayed nothing. His years in Fire Nation court must have schooled his features into an unreadable mask. He turned abruptly to Sokka, "Welcome to the Fire Nation, Katara and Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe." Though he addressed both of them, he kept his gaze fixed of her brother. "Your aid is greatly appreciated in these troubling times."

A stocky old man stepped up from behind Zuko, and Katara realized that she had not noticed the aged former general, standing behind his nephew.

"Sokka, Katara! It has been too long!" He greeted

Katara couldn't stifle the glee she felt at seeing the old man again, "Iroh!" She ran to hug him. Sokka followed her and slapped an affectionate hand onto Iroh's back, "Good to see ya again, Iroh!" He said.

Zuko watched the warm greeting silently for a moment, before clearing his throat. Iroh took the hint and released the siblings from his embrace. "Ah, we should make way to the palace. We will have more time for greetings then." Iroh conceded to his nephew. Katara linked arms with Iroh as they made their way to the palanquins waiting patiently at the end of the dock. "You, most of all, have much to tell, I presume," Iroh patted Katara's arm good-naturedly. Katara blushed in reply, not sure what he wanted her to say. Iroh chuckled at her, "Not to worry. All in good time."

A thousand thoughts race through her mind as she entered the second palanquin with Sokka. Her emotions pulled her all in different directions. When she saw his face, she had wanted nothing more than to wrap herself in his arms and run a hand down his face. When she had seen him, she had wanted nothing more than to turn and run back up onto the ship and demand the captain turn around and head back to the south. When their eyes met, she wanted nothing more than to impale him with twenty ice daggers and watch him bleed out on the dock.

But she didn't do any of that. She stood frozen, probably looking like an idiot. She stood there for him to examine and judge. He probably read her like a scroll. She shook her head in embarrassment. Sokka raised a questioning eyebrow at her. She shook her head in response as if to say, _Forget it, we'll talk about it later. _

He patted her hand in understanding and they sat in silence for the rest of the ride.

When they arrived at the steps of Fire Nation palace, Zuko was lost in the flurry of the welcome party. Maids and guards swarmed them into the giant foyer. Katara was overwhelmed by the familiar scent of the eucalyptus, blessing the room with its fragrance from expensive ceramic vases, stationed along the walls. The aroma flooded her mind with memories. She remembered standing beside her friends over a decade ago as they prepared to step out onto the dais for Zuko's coronation and Aang's victory speech. She remembered stepping back inside months later, seeking refuge from her break up with Aang. She remembered sneaking through these halls with the young Fire Lord seeking respite from the swarm of dedicated guardsmen. And then she remembered leaving again, not letting her tears fall until she was safely outside and hidden within her palanquin. She remembered not saying goodbye when she left the man she loved to go through with a loveless marriage and a life of bowing and scraping and courtiers and heirs. She remembered it all too clearly.

Sokka's arm on her shoulder woke her from her reverie. A stout woman with pink cheeks lifted Katara's duffel from the palaquin bearers and tittered at the siblings to follow them to their rooms. Iroh bowed at them again as they followed the maids, "Join me for tea in an hour."

"Of course," Sokka replied politely. And Katara silently cursed him for not coming up with some excuse to get her out of it. But she resigned herself to the fact that Sokka could no longer protect her here. She was on her own, for the first time in many years.

Before they parted to be lead into their seperate rooms, Sokka squeezed her hand again and smiled at her. "See you in a few," he assured. Katara nodded back before followed the maid into her room. After a few minutes of watching the stout woman and two young girls scurry to open the curtains and draw the basin and such, they finally left Katara in peace. And she collapsed into an entirely too large and soft bed. "What have I gotten myself into!" She groaned.

Katara donned a new set of robes for tea with Iroh. Under her breath, she cursed the formal customs of the politics she yearned to flee. As she tied the waistcoat of her robe, quick urgent knocks sounded from the door. She fumbled with the robe moment longer before answering, "Yes, come in!"

And tall, gangly man stormed into the room, enveloping her in a hug.

"Aang!" She returned the embrace. "I didn't know you were here yet," she said without letting go.

"Appa and I landed minutes ago! We flew over the harbor and saw your ship, and I came to see you!" Aang, as always, spoke in a such a way that Katara imagined exclamation points at the end of all of his sentences.

He finally let her go, and fell back onto one of the cushy chairs that made up the sitting area of her bedroom. A succession of quick raps sounded from the door and Katara allowed in the stout woman. She was carrying a silver tray with an ornate ceramic teapot and matching cups. "Master Katara, would you and your guest care for some tea?" She bowed as low as she could without tipping the tray in her hands. "Sure!" Aang answered for the both of them. The stout woman set the arrangement on the low table and filled the cups. She waited until Katara took a sip and appeared satisfied before she bowed and excused herself.

"Where's Lee?" Aang never let much time pass before he began his usual blitz of prying questions. Katara knew Aang wasn't particularly skilled in stifling his endless curiosity. Even when tact demanded otherwise.

She sighed, "Are you surprised? Why _would_ I bring him, Aang?"

"Well, he's never been anywhere outside of Kyoshi, except for the South Pole." His eyes fell to the cup in his hands. "And... I thought maybe this would be a good opportunity to..."

"To what?" Katara interrupted. "To introduce him to the father that has ignored him his entire life. Give him a grand tour of the Fire Nation Palace and gardens and throne room before telling him that the man who rules all of this is actually his sire?!" She realized her temper was flaring. Katara took a deep breath to steady her emotions before continuing, "Yeah, that sounds like a great plan." She muttured weakly.

Aang met her gaze again. Katara saw what looked like pity in those big gray eyes. He set his cup on the table and placed a hand on hers. "You still haven't told Lee, have you?" He asked softly.

Katara huffed at him, suddenly feeling impatient with his lack of understanding. _Of course_ she hadn't told her son. How _could_ she?! _Why _would she? It wouldn't change anything. They could never be a family. He had his own family. He had married a woman suitable of being the Fire Lady, and she gave him heirs. And even though Mai had passed away with the birth of their second child, he still had what he needed: full-bred Fire Nation heirs. And he had his station and his country and a whole _life_ here and she had her life on Kyoshi with Lee and the two could never mix. It wouldn't work. Isn't that what they had decided? It would never work, so she bowed out gracefully and he and Mai married and things were as they were supposed to be. She went home to the South Pole and tried to make a life there with her family.

And then she found out she was pregnant. She had such a hard pregnancy and the dark winter of the south pole drove her to a more temperate place. And then she made her life on Kyoshi, a life she never wanted to reconcile with her past.

"You wouldn't understand," she moved her hand out from under his and pushed a stray hair behind her ear.

"Maybe not, but I think Zuko deserves a conversation with you, face-to-face." Aang said with more wisdom than any twenty-two year old had the right to have.

Another knock at the door saved her from finishing their conversation, "Master Katara," a woman said from outside, "General Iroh requests your presence in the gardens for tea."

"Go ahead, " Aang allowed. "We'll catch up tonight though." He almost threatened. Katara bowed at him and excused herself.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews and follows. I'm sorry for the delay on this chapter, but more reviews would certainly inspire some creativity. I'm not trying to be withholding. I need the criticism/encouragement. I know Mai dying is cheap, but 15 years have passed. Lots can happen in 15 years! Anyway, I still appreciate any reviews/advice you can offer. Enjoy this _really long_ chapter!**

The gardens where more beautiful than she remembered.

Again, her mind fell to the past.

_One balmy evening, fifteen years ago, she and the Fire Lord lazed by the pond. She cupped a fire lily blossom between her fingers as she breathed in the clean sweet scent. The red petals danced in the wind. "I love these," She told him. "We don't have any flowers in the south pole, but these somehow smell like home." Zuko smiled at her sadly. "This could be your home," He said, he put his hand on her cheek. She smiled sadly, back at him, but let her protests die on her tongue as she kissed him. They lazed in a patch of soft grass under a tree near the pond. _

But now, the patch was completely covered by the red fire lilies. They looked passionate and bright in their well groomed patch.

Did he have those planted? She wondered.

Iroh's kind voice called her back to the present. "Thank you for joining me, Master Katara." He gestured at the empty chair across from him.

"Just Katara is fine, Iroh." She smiled at him and took a seat. "Sorry I'm late." He waved off her apology kindly. "Not to worry. I have ways to keep the tea from getting cold," He winked at her. Iroh nodded at two servants who stood at the edge of the gardens under the palace's awning. They bowed and stepped inside, leaving the waterbender and the retired general alone. "Where is Sokka?" Katara began to worry that she had played right into one of the old man's tricks. "He agreed to catch up with me this evening instead," Iroh grinned mischievously. Katara huffed at him, defeated.

"I trust that you are living comfortably on Kyoshi." Iroh began his clever game. She knew enough of this man that she would not be able to keep up.

"We are. I am grateful for the Fire Nation's assistance, but I assure you, it is far too generous, as I have told you before." Katara tried not to betray anything more with her expressions.

"Yes," Iroh admitted, "You have mentioned that in your letters, but I trust that you have me confused with you actual benefactor. I have never sent you any money. Nor has the Fire Nation treasury. The assistance comes directly from the Fire Lord's personal accounts. I have no control over what he does wih his money."

Katara did not know how to counter that, so she opted to hide in her silence. She took another sip of her tea.

"Is he a bender?" Iroh persisted in conversation.

Katara kept her expression guarded, "Who wants to know?" she asked.

"Both of us," Iroh admitted. "You know he knows about the boy. Why are you still trying to hide it?"

"I'm not hiding him! I'm protecting him! There are a lot of things that I know from correspondence, but there's a lot that I don't know either. I didn't know about Mai dying until three weeks after, when my family received a funeral summons. I didn't know you even knew about Lee until he was three years old!"

Iroh's eye's fell to his tea cup, "I didn't know about Lee until he was three. I began to partake in the scrutiny of royal spending and noticed money missing from Zuko's accounts. He avoided my curiosity for weeks, and I began to assume the worst. Mai finally told me."

Katara sputtered her tea in surprise, "Mai knew?!"

Iroh nodded. "I do not know the specific details. Their marriage was a loveless one, but Zuko was a dutiful husband. They shared accounts, so it was only natural that she would notice the missing money and become as curious as I had. She kept his secret responsibly. She was an understanding woman, perhaps to a fault. From the outsider's perspective, she never held it against him."

Katara played with the hem of her napkin. She had no idea. Who else knew? She had gone through her whole life believing that only her family knew of Lee's parentage. Her family, and Zuko himself, of course. On Lee's first birthday, a gift arrived. Beautifully painted toy ships. Lee adored them, and marveled that they actually floated upright in his bathtub. And Katara received a bag of Fire Nation gold. No letter, no message. Only the Royal Fire Nation seal on the package.

There were rumors of course, but most simply assumed that his father had been a Water Tribesman. She told her friends that the war took Lee's father away from her, so many believed he was a fallen warrior. They never pressed the issue so as to respect her grief. It wasn't a lie though. The way the war ended took Zuko from her. She didn't fall for him until after their victory. But that victory put the crown on his head and demanded many things of his life. He didn't understand that at first. But she wouldn't let him throw it away for her.

The gifts continued for the last fourteen years. Every birthday, Lee received something new. A fake sword, though it looked as expensive and intricate as a real one. A beautiful calligraphy set. Delicious teas and incense. For his ninth birthday, he got a bicycle. But as he grew older, he began to wonder where the gifts came from. Katara told him that he had an uncle who lived in the north pole and wasn't well enough to travel. She hoped she would be able to think up a better excuse by the time that he stopped believing he had a sick uncle. She hid the money from him, and prayed that the sensitive boy didn't know more than he was letting on.

Iroh finished his cup of tea and slowly stood from the table, "I think you should talk to Zuko, Master Katara." He set the cup back onto the table. She felt guilty under his gaze. She bowed her head to avoid his eyes.

"One more thing," Iroh asked, in a lighter tone.

Katara looked up at him.

"Is he a bender?" Iroh asked.

Katara smiled slowly, "Water" she admitted.

Iroh smiled back at her, "Of course." The old man turned to leave.

"But Iroh," he turned back to her. "He can _heat_ it." The old man raised a bushy gray eyebrow at her.

"Isn't that interesting." He chuckled and took his leave.

Katara decided she would have to find that stout woman and let her know that she would be taking her supper in her room. She would say that she had a headache and was weary from travelling. It had been years since Katara had been anywhere but Kyoshi and the south pole but she knew her name still demanded respect. The maid would not question a woman of her status.

Katara arrived at the door to her room feeling emotionally drained. Hopefully the woman would be nearby. Katara didn't want to have to search for her. A guard bowed low and opened her door. She nodded respectfully before entering. Behind her, the door closed taking the light of the hall with it. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the darkness, as the sun had fully set outside.

Suddenly, all the sconces lit on the walls around her. She gasped in shock. A lone figure sat on the edge of her bed in the shadows of the still dim room. Even without the crown on his head, Katara could not mistake the Fire Lord who sat in her room.

"What are you doing here?!" She demanded. Perhaps a little to harshly she mused. She was, after all, a guest in his home. But not a willing one. He must know that.

As her eyes began to adjust to the darkness, she noticed him staring down to his hands fitted together nervously. He made no attempts to answer her question. She walked to the bathroom and poured herself a glass of water, chilling the liquid in her hands before filling the glass. She enter the bedroom again to find that he had not moved out of his pensive state. Just as Katara began to sit in the chair that Aang had sat only a few hours earlier, she thought maybe she should offer him some water.

"Do you want a glass of water?" She ventured. He looked up to meet her gaze for the first time since she stepped off of the ship hours ago.

"No," His voice was gruff. His hands fell to rest on either side of him on the bed. "No, thank you."

Katara felt the tension weigh on her like humidity. "Is there something you wanted, or did you just want to check up on me?" She asked, perhaps a note too condescendingly.

Zuko looked around the room, and cleared his throat awkwardly, "Yes, I wanted to..." He again struggled for a moment internally before again making eye contact with the waterbender, "I wanted to ask how Lee is."

They had never discussed their love child before. And Katara hadn't thought they ever would. She had no idea where to start. Her instinct told her to be angry. How dare he! He had made no efforts to contact her about him before and now she is called to negotiate her way through some mess he made with the Earth Kingdom, and he has the nerve to...

But they had agreed that the distance was for the best. But that was also before they knew she was pregnant. But he couldn't go reaching out to an ex when he had a nation the rule and a wife and children. And he did send all of those gifts and money. There was no doubt that he felt some kind of way about their situation.

Zuko waited patiently for Katara to sort out her thoughts, his gaze remaining on her.

"He, uh..." She started the sentence without knowing how to finish it. "He's good, Zuko" She said with as much composure as she could muster.

He sunk his face into his hands, frustrated. "I'm sorry," He said through his palms. "I shouldn't have come in here..." He threw his hands above his head with exasperation, "...I don't know what I was expecting. Ugh!" He stood and began to pace the floor. "I just have spent so long not knowing about... And now! Now you're here! I mean, I'm a grown man. A Fire Lord! And I can't even formulate a complete sentence about my son."

Katara was speechless. It was all out in the open as it had never been before. Her nurturing instinct told her to go to him, to comfort him. But what could she say 'It's okay Zuko'? It wasn't okay. It was a mess. A mess that they made, and then proceeded to ignore for fifteen years.

"I mean, what are you thinking, Katara, because I have no idea how to handle this! I've gone this whole time, doing what I could for you, and keeping my distance. I never knew if it was the right thing to do, but I didn't know what else to do!" He sat down on the edge of the bed again and leaned on his hands behind him. He stared at her expectantly awaiting an answer.

"I don't know!" She shouted. "Do you think I had any idea what I was doing?! I don't know if I'm raising him right! I'm just doing all I can on my own!" She knew her disconnected thoughts were translating into disconnected sentences, "What do you want me to tell you? That I forgive you for letting me figure this out on my own?! That I understand your pain and confusion? I'm the one who had to raise a kid by herself! I'm the one who had to deal with him when he started asking me who his father is!"

Zuko's eyes went wide, "He asks about me?" He said softly.

Katara was caught off guard by the tender sincerity of his question. "He... yes. He started to ask when he was five." She replied, not unkindly.

"And..." Katara sensed that Zuko was about to ask a question he might not like the answer to, "And what do you tell him?" He finally mustered.

Katara felt suddenly ashamed. Though, she didn't know why. It wasn't as if she could have told Lee about Zuko. How could any woman tell a child that his father was a wealthy ruler in a far away land, a war hero, with a family all his own. It would've crushed Lee. But now she didn't know what to tell Zuko to keep him from being crushed. She couldn't lie to him though. In a strange way, Zuko had a right to know. And Iroh was right: after all these years, she owed Zuko some answers.

"I tell him that I lost his father from the war."

Zuko laughed without humor, "Clever. It's not the truth, but it's not a lie either."

"Yeah." Katara sighed. She thought again about what Aang and Iroh had told her. She steeled herself for what she was sure would be a difficult night. "What else do you want to know about him?"

Zuko looked at her, surprised. She could glean that he hadn't expected her to be so open about their child. He looked conflicted though, as if he knew how hard it must be for her to talk about it, but he still wanted to know.

He did not hesitate long, "What is he like?"

"He's very smart, too smart for his own good," Katara smiled despite herself. "He's so somber and serious, though. But still very sensitive. He can somehow always pick up on my emotions, whether I'm having a bad day or a good one, he notices. He actually..." Katara laughed to herself, "He'll make me tea when I'm sick. It tastes gods-awful, but if it isn't the sweetest thing in the world..."

Zuko smiled at her. "What else?"

They talked well into the night. Katara told him about Lee's kind spirit, his bending prowess, his discipline, and his eagerness to learn more, to always be better. She told Zuko about Lee's first birthday, and his second, and every birthday the father had missed. She told him about his infrequent attempts at humor. She told him about his hopelessness with girls. She told him about how handsome he was with his caramel skin, his wide golden eyes, and his wavy mass of dark brown hair.

Zuko laughed at Katara's funny stories. He teared up when she mentioned something that he felt he should have been there for. Katara spoke briefly about her fling with a Southern Watertribe warrior Kinu. She attempted to skim over it, but when she mentioned Lee and Kinu surfing together, Zuko pressed the issue. His curiosity made her uncomfortable, so she quickly shifted the conversation to another anecdote about their son.

They talked until light began to seep into the room, surreptitiously, and unwelcome. Zuko felt the dawn in his core, and quickly stood. "I need to get going. I should be in my room when the servants come to wake me."

Katara understood. She could only imagine how the discovery of their night together, though perfectly without romance, would implicate them. She stood to open the door for him. Zuko shook his head at her, "No, too risky." He opened the doors to the armoire that stood against the east wall of her quarters. He pushed aside the hanging robes and fiddled with something at the back of the wardrobe. Katara peered at him quizzically. "Trap door," He answered her silent question. "Security measure, in the event of an evacuation."

Katara wasn't sure whether to fascinated at the ingenuity or displeased that the Fire Lord had secret access to her quarters.

"Thank you, Katara," he said. She decided to figure out how she felt about it later. And let the Fire Lord know.

"Of course," she replied, shyly.

Before she knew it, he pulled her into a hug. "I hope we can talk more while you're here." He said without letting her go. "And... I'm sorry." He finally let her go. "Me too." She replied. And without another word, the Fire Lord disappeared into the darkness of the armoire. Katara stared at the open dresser a moment before shutting the doors.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thank you guys so much for the encouragement/criticism in the reviews. You were definitely right about the dialogue errors. I tried to edit this chapter a little closely. So let me know what you think. **

**Now this part wasn't necessarily supposed to turn into an entire chapter, but the characters ran away with it. It's not my fault-blame Katara and Zuko. But there's a lot of history that can't be communicated entirely through dialogue so we had to take a step back into the past. Cue ****_LOST_**** flashback sound bit.**

**Also, I DO NOT OWN ****_Avatar: the Last Airbender._**** Almost all of the main characters in my story belong to the ATLA creators Mike and Bryan. **

**As always, please leave me reviews!**

_Fifteen Years Ago_

Katara stepped out of the palanquin, back into the balmy heat of late summer in the Fire Nation Capitol.

"Master Katara, Water Tribe Ambassador to the Fire Nation." A sage bellowed. His greeting entourage bowed along with him. Katara blushed. She had been travelling with Aang for a year or so since their victory in the Fire Nation. And despite their reception in all of the Earth Kingdom cities they visited, she could not get used to this reverence she was suddenly assigned. She had fought in the final battles of the war alongside her friends, but they only did what they believed was right. Aang had found himself in their lives and they reacted in the only way they knew how.

"Thank you, Grand Sage Kizo," After recovering from her initial embarrassment, Katara bowed in response. She raised her eyes again to notice a stunned looking sage, but thought nothing of it.

"Um, the Fire Lord eagerly awaits your arrival, Master Katara."

"Yes of course. I need to just, um get my bags from the other palanquin."

"Your bags will be taken to your quarters by servants, Ambassador. The Fire Lord has requested to receive you in his study."

"Servants, yes, of course," Katara struggled again with the strangeness of her new status.

The sage turned west to lead her into the palace. It was then that Katara truly registered the scale of it. The Palace had been nearly destroyed in the war. Zuko offered Sokka and Teo a competitive sum to rebuild it. They happily accepted. It seemed that Zuko spared no expenses either.

_Perhaps, he's making a statement... Or compensating for something. _

Katara smirked to herself as she let herself be led by the group of representatives. Her smirk fell when she made it to the tops of the steps and found herself staring into the foyer. Red marble made up the entryway pillars with onyx accents. Obsidian vases taller than her lined the the walls that made up an intimidating hallway. Red tapestries lined he walls of the corridor, barely stifling the echo of their footsteps. Ornamental, hand-carved sconces lit their path.

Deeper into the palace, the interior design became less imposing, but still boasted an unmatched grandeur. When she found herself at a set of double doors made of mahogany, with rose gold dragons carved onto the exterior, their open mouths where doorknobs should have been, the sages bent fire into their mouths, and the door creaked open. Katara had to consciously close her gaping mouth.

"Master Katara, the Fire Lord awaits." The reception party parted for her and bowed once more. Katara tried to muster some confidence as she stumbled past them into the study.

She found Zuko with his brows knitted together, hunched over his desk, reading a scroll so long that it rolled under his desk and out the other side. He looked up suddenly at her arrival and nodded in acknowledgement. He rolled the scroll up hastily and deposited it in a desk drawer. He stood to bow to her but was interrupted as Katara rushed at him and embraced him in a hug.

"Zuko!" she cried.

He gasped in surprise and took a moment to compose himself as he embraced her politely. But Zuko allowed himself a small smile.

Katara, her arms around his waist, inhaled Zuko's familiar scent-like wood-smoke and spice, she mused. She wondered what her scent reminded others of.

"I missed you, Zuko! How have you been?!" She shrieked, finally releasing him.

The Fire Lord stepped back, chuckling. "I'm alright... Ambassador!" he teased.

Katara rolled her eyes playfully and sunk into the leather chair opposite his desk. "Isn't that weird to think about? I'm an ambassador and I've only just turned seventeen!"

"Not any weirder than me being Fire Lord." Zuko deadpanned. He sat back into his desk chair, with much more grace, Katara noted.

"True," Katara admitted.

Zuko leveled a serious look at her. All of the humor evaporated from the room. She knew where this was going.

"So." The Fire Lord said, simply.

But it felt like an accusation to Katara. She couldn't hold his stare. She looked at her hands folded neatly in her lap, instead.

"So... what?" The waterbender evaded.

The Fire Lord sighed heavily, "It's not that I'm not happy to have you here. Believe me, I can use all of the help I can get," He laughed without much humor, "But, I know you didn't come here because you missed Fire Nation cuisine so much. Uncle just got back from Ba Sing Se two days ago, where he met with Toph. Even without flying bison, word travels fast."

Katara huffed, stubbornly. Of course Toph knew. That had to have been the first person Aang ran off and told. She was the closest person to the Earth Kingdom village they had been visiting at the time. And Toph had to go running her indiscreet mouth off to Iroh, the meddling gossip to end all others.

She sighed again. She knew she wasn't really mad at them. Word would get out eventually. She'd been travelling for about two weeks to get to the Fire Nation. And travel without a bison was slow, as it turns out. And of course Aang still had that luxury, so it was only natural that he'd spread the news sooner than her.

Zuko watched her patiently as she gathered her thoughts.

"I don't really want to talk about it right now, okay Zuko?" She said not unkindly.

Zuko stood and reached out to put his palm on her shoulder. She had forgotten how warm a firebender's skin was in their months apart following the war. "I understand, Katara, but when you are ready, I'll be here. Mai is here for you too, if you need to talk to another girl or something. She's not as emotionally available," that earned a giggle from Katara, "but she does like you. And I'm sure she'd be willing to help."

She smiled up at him, "Thanks Zuko. I really did miss you."

"I missed you too, Katara. Now let's get you to your new quarters, before dinner time."

"My new quarters?"

"Yes, I had Sokka and Teo give you each a room in the family wing, for whenever anyone visits." Zuko stood and opened the door for her, and followed her out into the corridor. The guards that were stationed outside of the door gracefully fell into step behind their Fire Lord and his guest. "Here, I'll show you myself. I'm sure the servants have gotten your luggage in there by now."

They walked in companionable silence down the twisting corridors for a few minutes when a young woman in a dark red robe rounded a corner. Mai hadn't grown much in the past few months, except perhaps more beautiful. She abandoned the two buns she used to keep on top of her head, and the onyx, silky mass of hair flowed freely down her back now. She had grown out the bangs that once sat just above her eyelids. Now they were just long enough to be swept to the side. The blood red robes were simple, but fine and they suited her in a still intimidating way.

"Master Katara, it is good to see you again," she said in her usual flat tone. But there was the faintest hint of sincerity. Katara bowed respectfully and smiled at the girl, studying her face.

"You as well, Mai. The palace looks amazing. You must be settling in well."

Mai rolled her eyes, "Well, after six boring months living with my parents on Ember Island, it's certainly refreshing."

Mai's eyes slid almost imperceptibly toward Zuko. Katara, who was standing beside the Fire Lord almost so that their shoulders were touching, missed whatever it was Mai quirked her eyebrow at. Zuko stepped up to his girlfriend and put his hand tenderly on her cheek.

"I hope to see you at dinner tonight, Mai."

"Only if we can have something without rice. A week straight? I would think that the palace chef would be more creative than that."

Zuko snickered, "I'll send word to the kitchens." He kissed her on the cheek. She blushed ever so faintly before recovering flawlessly. She nodded at Katara and headed in the direction from which they had just come.

Katara followed Zuko a few paces more before stopping in front of two ornate double doors. He pushed them open easily, revealing a beautiful west facing bedroom. It was bigger than her family's entire ice hut growing up, and that was the _chief's_ ice hut!

Everything was accented in different shades of blue. The sapphire colored silk bedding looked so soft that it might swallow her whole. Aquamarine colored silk draped the onyx pillars framing her bed, hanging into a luxurious canopy above. Two beautiful windows with a large balcony on each were on either side of the bed. A closer look revealed a breathtaking view of a private shore, visible from the balconies.

A small fountain gurgled out of the left wall next to a door way. Katara stepped through to reveal the largest bathroom she was sure she had ever seen. A bathtub that looked like a small swimming pool took up half of the massive room. The fountain that sprung from the opposite wall drained delicately into the bathtub as well. Blue and green mosaics lined the walls.

Zuko smiled at her, "There are hot springs heated from the volcano that pump directly into the palace, so your bath water will always be warm."

"Zuko, this is incredible!" Katara shrieked. "It... it's way too much though!"

He put his hands up mock-defensively, "Hey, don't blame me! Sokka did most of the bedroom designs. He was pretty set on making that two way fountain thing work."

Katara sighed contentedly, still taking in her surroundings. She suddenly flopped backwards on the expansive bed. Zuko chuckled at her. The grinning waterbender let out a relaxed breath, "Yep, I think I will fit into this Ambassador to the Fire Nation thing pretty well!"


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: It looks like a filler chapter, but there's a lot of set up that still needs to be done before we get to the interesting stuff. Thanks for the reviews again. Keep 'em coming! You guys are absolutely amazing, and I would have abandoned this project by now if hadn't been for the encouragement. **

**Also, on the topic of ages-I'm a going to go ahead and declare everyone a couple years older than they actually were at the end of the war. So Katara and Azula were 16; Aang and Toph 14; and Sokka and Zuko were about 18 or 19 (?). So it's been fifteen years since then. That means that Katara had Lee when she was recently 17 and now that Lee is 14, Katara is 31. I never declared Katara to be any specific age, so here's some clarification. Lee was born about a year and a half after the war ended. Since this is my story, I'm just making a couple adjustments. Sorry for the age confusion. It was really just supposed to be a stand alone story that fit well with another stand alone story (it has since turned into something much bigger so I need to streamline the details a little better), but the numbers didn't match up, so I edited it. I might have missed one or two age edits, so thank you for looking out. Sorry again. Enjoy!**

_Back in the present day of the story, the morning Chapter Four leaves off._

Katara splashed her face in the water basin. She bent some water out of the bowl and pulled it through her long brown hair, pulling it out dry once she was finished. She leaned into the looking glass to inspect the dark circles under her eyes. Encasing her palm in glowing water, she healed them away. After changing into a clean set of robes, she made her way into the hall. It looked to be about an hour after sunrise now. Sokka was either still sleeping or eating already. She opened the doors to his room across the hall to check.

Sure enough a blue and brown snoring mass was strewn gracelessly across the bed. Katara sat on the edge of the mattress and gently shook his shoulder.

"Sokka..." She whispered. "Soooookka," she repeated in a sing-songy voice.

The tribesman grunted, "Issit Christmas, Sssuki?"

Katara giggled at her brother, "No, you lump, it's negotiation day!"

"La-dammit, Katara, five more minutes please." He mumbled in response. He rolled over onto his stomach and pulled a pillow over the back of his head with both hands.

Katara smirked deviously, "Okay, I guess I'll just eat your portion of fire flakes at breakfast, since you won't be able to make it."

Sokka shot straight up in the bed. "We do not joke about fire flakes, Katara, " he said with a seriousness Sokka only reserved for food.

Katara giggled, "Hey, you can't be mad at me. I'm still being mad at you!"

"What? Why would you be mad at me?"

"For abandoning me with the Dragon of the West for tea time, you ice-hole!"

Sokka scratched the back of his head guiltily. "Listen, that wasn't entirely my fault."

Katara rolled her eyes.

"He tricked me!" Sokka gesticulated defensively.

"How?" Katara deadpanned.

"He told me which kitchen I could find pepper-candies in.."

"Sokka!"

"Look, the old man makes a good cup of tea, but if you're giving me the option of tea or candy, I can't be blamed for my decisions!"

Katara leaned back against the pillar that supported the bed's canopy. "Well, you're off the hook. You're lucky I'm too tired to argue with you, right now."

Sokka hopped off the bed and picked a blue tunic off the floor, smelling it. He nodded in approval of the scent before pulling in over his head. "You didn't sleep well last night?" He fumbled with the ties on the side.

Katara watched him fasten the tunic. Something in her panicked. Should she tell her brother about her all-night conversation with the Fire Lord? Zuko had made a big deal about exiting through the secret passageway. It would be best that the story stay quiet. But still, Sokka was her brother. In this den of politics, Sokka was probably the person she should trust before all others.

Then again... what would he say, if she told him? What did that conversation even mean for them? It didn't changedanything. Not really. Zuko was still the Fire Lord. And Katara was still the only parent Lee would ever have.

Katara decided to speak privately with Zuko again before letting her brother know. She needed to know where they stood first. It was too confusing to discuss with her reactive, over-protective brother anyway.

He may be a middle-aged tribe leader now, but some things never changed. Like having to smell-check his tunics every morning, for instance.

"Yeah, just homesick, I guess."

"Well, then let's get some food in you. I always feel better after a good meal."

"Yeah, I know," she rolled her eyes as she followed her brother out of the room.

Two servants confronted the water tribe siblings on their way to the dining hall.

They bowed low as they addressed them, "The Fire Lord requests your presence in his private dining room beofre the meeting this morning."

"Uh sure," Sokka replied.

When they arrived, at the dining room, guards opened the doors for them. The private dining room wasn't really much smaller in size than the great hall. Although much less grandiose, it still held a formal appeal. The Fire Lord sat at the head of the table with dark bags under his eyes. Iroh sat to his right. Aang, to his left. Several older men in formal Fire Nation style robes sat on the far side of the long table. His council, Katara guessed.

The siblings sat in two open chairs. A final empty seat remained. Katara silently counted off the unfamiliar council members. Seven men, she summed up. That was the total number of the Grand Council. She wondered briefly who they were waiting on when the doors opened again. Katara turned to see Azula saunter into the room and take her place in the empty seat next to her.

She turned and smiled devilishly at Sokka and Katara, "Water Peasants! It has been too long!"

"Not quite long enough," Katara heard Sokka mumble to her left.

"Princess Azula," Katara nodded hr head politely. The last time Katara was here, the Princess was staying in a small southern wing of the palace that had been converted into something of a private mental institution for her. Katara visited her infrequently. The girl was catatonic then. She recalled the one-sided conversations she had with the broken bending master, trying to goad any response out of her.

Here she was a grown woman, with the same easy grace she once used as a tool for conquest, the same feral smirk.

Katara made a mental note to ask Zuko about that later.

The waterbender noted that Azula still wore armor. Though them metal was stylized a little differently and it was longer to fit the Fire Princess tall, willowy frame. Her eyes, still piercing, were a bit sunken in. Her cheek bones protruded unhealthily from her face. Azula was the same age as Katara, but she looked much older. Time had not been as kind to his sister as it had been to the Fire Lord.

But Katara could not deny that the woman was still beautiful. Not terrifyingly so anymore; now perhaps just in a haunting way.

Zuko cleared his throat and order fell in the room, as the councilors conversational din fell into silence. Servants appeared with individual plates for each person at the table. The lifted silver domed lids off of the plates to reveal the steaming, mouth-water breakfasts.

"Before we eat," the Fire Lord intoned, "I would like to speak to you all about the negotiations today. I have invited your all here before we speak to the Earth Kingdom negotiators to inform you that it will not be a necessarily pleasant experience."

Sokka seemed to be ignoring the Fire Lord, staring longingly at his food instead. Katara was impressed at his regard for ceremony and self-restraint.

"Sokka, Katara of the Southern Water Tribe," The nodded respectfully at the Zuko's acknowledgement, "I want to thank you for travelling all this way to honor our alliance and help us work our way through this understanding. You will be very important to this negotiation."

"We are honored to be here, Fire Lord," Katara said as professionally as she could. She tried not to meet his eyes though.

Azula quirked a brow at the waterbender, as if she sensed something in the innocuous statement. Katara refused to meet the princess's gaze. The last thing she needed was a suspicious (formerly?) insane Fire Princess pouring salt into the wound that was this entire trip.

"As you all probably know," Zuko continued, "We are behind on our reparations payments to the Earth King. On top of that, the decolonization is not going smoothly. Things would not probably be so tense if Kuei still held the throne, but since his decisions are out of our hands, we will have to deal with King Ti Len. His is a mistrustful man, but not a stupid one. He wants what he feels he is owed, which is certainly understandable. But we have been very private about some domestic matters as of lately."

The councilors murmured to each other from across the table. A fat man, Katara recalled his name was Lord Bao Ling, spoke up, "My Lord, do you think it wise to share these matters with foreigners?"

"Sokka and Katara are not just foreigners, Lord Bao Ling. They are allies and friends. If we wish to make a united front at the negotiations today, they must be well informed." Zuko's tone brooked no argument.

The fat man did not look satisfied by his Fire Lord's response, but said nothing as he plopped back into the groaning chair.

"What Zuzu here is getting at," Azula interrupted smugly, "Is that we're in a bit of an economic depression."

Katara's eyes widened in disbelief.

Sokka's head popped up, apparently stunned out of his hunger.

"What do you mean?" Katara gasped.

Zuko bowed his head with some shame, "After the assassination attempts died down, I was much more able to get more done. We made drastic cuts in military spending as a show of good faith, but also to re-allocate funds elsewhere. However, we have still not been able to get around raising taxes. Most of the capitol city needed to be rebuilt after the final battles of the war, which has taken years. And as we began to take a closer look at some of the outlying districts in the city, we had to take measures against the extreme poverty in that area."

Azula rolled her eyes at her brother. "Well, that's what happens when you shut down over five-hundred factories nation-wide."

"They were weapons factories, Azula. You know we have no need for the mass manufacturing of catapults anymore." The Fire Lord hissed at his sister.

"How many are unemployed, Zuko?" Sokka piped up.

Zuko sighed dejectedly, "Twenty percent and growing..."

"Zuko!" Aang exclaimed, "Why didn't you tell me?!"

"It is my burden to bear, Avatar, not yours."

"That's where you're wrong, Zuko. The balance of the world is my burden as much as yours," Aang accused.

"So while King Ti Len probably assumes that you are trying to back out of decolonization, you really actually can't afford to bring those citizens back to the homeland." Katara said. It wasn't a question. This was going to be harder than she thought. She silently prayed that she still retained some of that political wit she picked up so long ago.

"That is about the gist of it, Master Katara," Iroh answered.

"That being said," Zuko said, "We hope that you will keep the Fire Nation's interests in mind during the negotiations today."

Sokka snorted humorlessly, "In other words, don't tell the Earth Kingdom how damn broke you guys are."

"Essentially," Azula hissed.

Zuko cleared his throat in the Princess's general direction. "We'll get through this. We just need to present a united front."

Katara and Sokka nodded their heads to show their support.

"Now, let us eat," Zuko said.

"Finally!" Sokka shouted.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Sorry for the huge delay. Life happens and all. I've decided to continue with the flashback chapters, as only so much of the past can be revealed through dialogue. Sorry this one's not very long, but we're building towards big things in both timelines. So be patient with me. Please let me know what you think! Also, I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender or any of the characters. I just love them a lot, that's all. **

_Fifteen Years Ago_

Katara's whole head felt heavy. She had just sat through three hours of peace talks between Earth Kingdom ambassadors and Zuko's council. They had been civil enough, outwardly at least, but it went on far longer than Katara had expected. And it was clear that both sides still harbored resentment toward each other. Lord Su Long of the Earth Kingdom made some snide double-sided remarks at Lord Kaz of Zuko's council. That's what Katara was there for. She had to diffuse the tension, and prove to the wary Earth Kingdom dignitaries that _she_ trusted the Fire Lord, therefore, they should too. It had been her first taste of just how politically difficult this whole "rebuilding the world" thing was going to be. And he she had thought the worst was behind them...

She stayed seated as the Fire Lord excused everyone from the room. His face remained stoic until the last dignitary had exited, leaving only Zuko on his dais, and Katara at the foot of the long table below. The door finally clicked shut.

"Ugh!" Zuko groaned, pinching his nose. Katara giggled weakly.

"Is it always like that? That was painstaking," she tried to laugh off her mental exhaustion.

Zuko smirked down at her, "That actually wasn't as bad as the first few sessions."

"I can't imagine," she stood and began to gather her papers from the table. Mostly notes that she had brought along to keep herself familiarized with the matters discussed.

Zuko noticed her bring them into the meeting. He had also noticed her spending every night in the last week at the palace library, pouring through political and legal scrolls in preparation. All in all, he was very impressed with the young waterbender. She had risen to the challenge of embassy well. Not that he had expected her to fail. He was just a little taken aback. He had already seen what she was capable of as a warrior. But he didn't expect her to be just as capable in this arena, he supposed. How could she be so good at everything, he wondered silently.

He rose from his ornate chair and stretched out his legs, tight from sitting so long, "Would you care to join Mai and I for lunch, Katara?"

She smiled up at him, "You don't usually have time to eat lunch with anyone." It was a question.

Zuko chuckled, "Truth be told, this meeting concluded much earlier than I had expected it to. The last one I had ran for four hours!"

"Dear spirits," Katara joked exasperation. "Well, since it is so rare to catch you for lunch, I'd love to! Let me run back to my room and put these notes up, and I'll meet you and Mai?"

Zuko nodded, "I'll go find her now. Meet us in the garden."

Katara's stomach growled as she set the papers down on the little writing desk in her room. _I guess peace negotiations can really work up an appetite._ She decided to organize her desk later, rushing to get some food in her stomach. As she headed out to the central courtyard, she heard Zuko shouting. But he didn't sound angry, just irritated, or maybe confused. Katara tip-toed closer, still out of sight, behind one of the outer hedges of the pretty dining area.

"I just don't _want_ to. What's wrong with that?" Katara's brow furrowed-it sounded like Mai's voice.

"Well, you seemed excited for lunch before I mentioned Katara. What's the problem? She likes you. Do you have something against her?" Zuko again. Katara was only more confused. Had she somehow upset Mai? She tried to think back to the few encounters she'd had with the girl since she arrived a little over a week ago. Katara had always been fairly polite, if not a little unsure of how to act around the gloomy girl. It was hard to read Mai. And even though Katara knew that Mai really cared about Zuko, and that she was trustworthy now, Katara still wasn't sure if they had much common ground between them.

But as hard as Katara tried to recall, she couldn't think of anything that she might've said to upset the girl.

Mai sighed. Even without being able to see the pair, Katara was sure Mai had rolled her eyes, "Katara's _fine_. I'm just... not hungry anymore."

"But Mai-"

"Enjoy your lunch." Mai's dress swished lightly as she walked back into the palace.

Katara stood in her hiding spot a moment, very confused, before she turned into the dining area.

She decided to play it innocent. If Zuko and Mai were having problems, it really wasn't any of her business. Unless, of course, Zuko wanted to talk to her about it. But she wouldn't pry.

As she turned the corner, she saw Zuko plop into his chair with an exasperated sigh.

He looked up as she approached her seat. "Hey, uh sorry, Mai's not..." Zuko paused and spared a glance in the direction Mai'd left, "Mai's not really feeling well."

"Oh, well, I hope it's not anything serious," Katara said innocently.

"Nah, just a headache." Zuko lied.

"Oh ok, well I hope I'm sufficient company," Katara joked.

Zuko's smile returned, "Of course."

Katara smiled back.

"You were great in there today," Zuko said.

Katara blushed a little, "I was incredibly nervous at first. Then i started to get a hang of it. Then it was just annoyed at grown men acting like catty preteens," Zuko laughed with her, "And then I was just bored and hungry," she added.

"Well, regardless, I'm really glad you're here. Like I said, that session ran much more smoothly, than the previous ones. And I really believe that your presence had something to do with that."

She blushed again. "Well, I guess our work's not quite done yet, huh? There will always be more to fix."

Zuko nodded in agreement.

The servants arrived with two dishes shortly after, and the pair ate in companionable silence.

Katara really wasn't sure what to think of Mai. Maybe she should try reaching out to the girl. It had to get lonely in the palace. And the girl only had two friends that Katara knew of: one had left for Kyoshi to join Katara's soon-to-be sister-in-law, and the other was catatonic in some obscure, but surely well guarded, wing of the palace. And Zuko was constantly busy, settling into his new role as Fire Lord. Maybe Mai just needed a friend.

Zuko's mind raced as well. He'd always been pretty sorry when it came to interacting with women. Azula used to joke that he would have to adopt an heir, because he'd probably die a virgin. And Mai was pretty hard to read sometimes, behind her stoic mask. Zuko liked to think that he'd learned a thing or two about her in their time together, but maybe not. Did she still harbor ill feelings against Katara? No, that couldn't be it. Mai was very resolute about switching sides. She still loved Azula, and was deeply affected by her institutionalization. But Mai had made it quite clear to him that she regretted her past alleginaces. So why was she so wary of Katara all of a sudden? Maybe Zuko would never figure out women.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Two chapters in one day, woohoo! Things are beginning to come to a head. As always, I want to know what you guys think! And as always, A:TLA's not mine. Neither are the characters. **

Katara's head began to feel a familiar heaviness. She tried to resist running her hand down her face in exasperation. She needed to continue to appear as diplomatic as possible. But it was clear that she was out of practice. The politics that were once so natural to her were now completely over her head._ I guess that tends to happen after spending the fifteen years in near isolation._

The din of dispute pounded a headache into her skull. Katara heard a chair screeching as someone stood hastily. Her head snapped up in response. It was Lord Su Long of the Earth Kingdom. His abrupt stance silenced the room. Katara vaguely remembered him. He was a middle-aged man. Perhaps mid-fifties. Katara supposed she recognized him from her work in the Fire Nation years ago.

He cleared his throat. "Fire Lord Zuko, I am afraid that we can no longer beat around the bush. His Majesty King Ti Len grows suspicious of your repeatedly delayed reparations payments. Your situation appears rather... _unfortunate_ to us."

Zuko eyed the man with a guarded expression. He quirked a brow, "'_Unfortunate'_? How so?"

Lord Su Long continued, "Forgive me Fire Lord, but we have been forced to two possible conclusions."

Katara's palms began to sweat. Sokka made a worried eye contact with her. Aang began to fidget a bit. Even Azula looked a bit nervous. But Zuko looked the perfect picture of dignity. He continued to eye the dignitary curiously, but if he felt any anxiety, he did not show it.

After a beat, Su Long spoke again, "Either you are... incapable of making the payments because you have somehow mismanaged your great nation's accounts... or you are deliberately withholding the payments so that the money may be allocated for ...less honorable plans." The man folded his hands across his great stomach looking positively smug.

Everyone was in silent awe. The room was tensely awaiting Zuko's reply. But it was not him who spoke first. Azula stood gracefully and quietly from her chair. She smiled viciously at Lord Su Long. _Now_ Zuko looked nervous. The Fire Princess spoke with a voice like honey, "My dear Lord So Ling-"

"Su Long." The man corrected firmly, his arrogant expression gone.

Azula laughed a breathy, tingling laugh. "Of course, my apologies. While I am first obligated to assure you that your honorable King Ti Len is unfortunately mistaken, I must say, I feel we've opened up the room to what will most definitely be a very long-winded discussion. And we've already been enjoying your company for the better part of four hours." The princess turned to address Zuko, feigning innocence beautifully. "Dear brother, perhaps we should part so that our dear guests can enjoy lunch, before we finish this meeting." Azula smiled sweetly up at him.

Zuko nodded sternly. "Adjourned. We will reconvene in an hour."

There was some murmuring from the Earth Kingdom dignitaries, before Su Long replied, "Agreed."

* * *

Zuko led the way as their group filed silently back into the dining room where they had breakfast hours before. The solemn-faced lot gravitated to the same seats they sat in before.

No one spoke as the servants filed in with miraculous quickness to deliver their lunch. After the last servant retreated out of the room, Zuko finally spoke, "Thank you Azula." She beamed uncharacteristically at her brother's acknowledgement.

Katara had to admit that the princess had handled the situation well. No one wanted to admit that the pompous dignitary was close to figuring them out. And no one certainly wanted to give the man the satisfaction of confirming his insulting accusations. But Azula knew that none of the Earth people would know what to make of her. And that innocent 'mix-up' with his name was enough to win a smirk from everyone in the dining room.

Iroh cleared his throat, "You do know what he's getting at, don't you, Zuko?"

Zuko sighed. Katara sensed that she was missing a piece of the puzzle. "Yes, Uncle."

Aang quirked a brow. "What's he talking about?"

Zuko's councilmen fidgeted.

"They want me to get married." Zuko said the last word with so much distaste that one might think he thought it as a profanity.

Sokka paused from shovelling food into his mouth, "But you've already popped out some heirs. What do they care if you're married?" Katara winced as he spoke with food still in his mouth.

Lord Bao Ling spoke up, "It is not such a terrible idea, My Lord."

"They want me to get married to an Earth Kingdom girl..." Zuko elaborated.

"Oh, " Katara understood.

Iroh spoke, "It would give them the assurance that you are still a stable and trustworthy Fire Lord and do much to ease their suspicions. It might even get you out of reparations," the old man clarified.

Azula snorted derisively, "And getting a spy into your bed would just be a convenient perk. They want to sell you a prim, pretty green leash, Zuzu."

"Again, my Lord, consider that it may not be such a bad plan," Lord Bao Ling pressed on.

Zuko slammed his fist onto the table, "Thank you, Lord Bao Ling, I heard you the first time!"

After a beat, Iroh said, "If you have another proposal nephew, please tell us. We are running out of options as they are clearly onto us."

Aang piped up, "Would it be so bad to just tell them the truth? What could they possibly gain from the Fire Nation's depression?" It was so like Aang to try to impose honesty where politics reigned. Katara may be out of her depths here, but even she knew the possible repercussions.

"The upper hand," Azula suggested to the avatar condescendingly.

"Aang, it's quite complicated. I know your dealings with the Earth Kingdom has been limited to isolated incidents with colonies and prejudiced townships, but these nobles wouldn't hesitate to exploit me if they knew what was going on here. It would only give them more to hang over my head and manipulate me to their liking. I would have a much harder time avoiding an Earth Kingdom bride, for instance." Zuko explained calmly.

"Well, you may have to get used to green, Zuko," Sokka chimed in, thankfully without food in his mouth this time. "What do red and green mixed together make anyway?" Katara resisted the urge to smack her forehead at her brother's musings.

"Brown." Azula said flatly.

"Well, it looks like you're going to have to admit that money is at least a little short. Maybe, you won't have to say how much, but they need to know something." Katara suggested.

The councilors mumbled amongst themselves before Lord Zhun spoke up, visibly encouraged by Bao Ling, "Perhaps they would be appeased if you took a Fire Nation woman to wed." Zhun suggested feebly.

Iroh replied, "No I think they wish to see the Fire Lord wed a woman outside the Fire Nation. They're looking for assurance that he is still dedicated to peace, after all."

"It's a shame Arnook's new brat is already betrothed," Azula added. Sokka was visibly irritated by the callous mention of Yue's father and the daughter he had after his first died in the Siege of the North.

Aang looked a bit upset too, "Gross, isn't she like sixteen? Zuko's like twice her age."

Zuko slammed his fist to the table again, "Stop talking about me like I'm not here!"

Everyone shut up.

Zuko took a deep breath before continuing, "Look, they're probably going to bring up marriage within thirty minutes of stepping into the room, so we need to have a planned response."

"Nephew, we can try proposing that you marry a Fire Nation woman, if that is more amenable to you, but they may accept that." Iroh said.

Azula shrugged noncommittally, "It's worth a shot."

Zuko rested his forehead on his fingertips, "The idea of any marriage isn't amenable to me, but if I get an option that isn't an Earth Kingdom puppet girl, I'll consider it." The Fire Lord conceded.

"And if that does not suffice, my Lord?" Lord Bao Ling ventured nervously.

Zuko stood from the table. Azula followed in suit, "We'll burn that bridge when we get to it." She said.

"Cross," Zuko corrected.

Azula smirked, "'Cross that bridge', yes. Isn't that what I said?"

Katara stifled a giggle at the princess's wit. Azula flashed the waterbender a small smile in response. Katara was a little surprised to discover that the princess's smile seemed sincere.

And without another word, they filed back onto the conference room to resume negotiations.

* * *

Zuko had predicted the Earth dignitaries with accuracy competing Aunt Wu's. 'Marriage' was the hottest word since they had resumed discussion. Iroh stood and cleared his throat. Katara sent a prayer to Tui and La for Zuko's sake. They might have a dark history, but Katara knew that he did not want another passionless marriage, and she would not wish one on him. She was sure he had loved Mai. He cared for her well-being, but from what Iroh had hinted to her, there was no burning desire between the two.

Iroh had the room's attention. "The Council and I would like to propose a marriage for Fire Lord Zuko..." The dignitaries looked pleased at Iroh's proposal, "...To a Fire Nation bride of his choosing." Iroh finished.

Su Long bolted up from his chair, "Absolutely not! What do you have against an Earth Kingdom bride for Lord Zuko?" The Earth kingdom man directed his response to the councilmen, as such a tone would be far more disrespectful directed at he Fire Lord.

Azula spoke again, "My good lord So Lung," Azula smiled sweetly at the man, daring him to correct her again. He looked irate, but remained silent, as she continued. "It is not that my dear brother has anything against an Earth Kingdom bride, but we are uncertain as to why you have a problem with his taking a Fire Nation bride."

Katara suppressed a smirk at Azula's cunning. She had cornered the man. He now had to admit that he wanted the Fire Lord on a leash with an Earth girl. Either that or explicitly accuse the Zuko of planning another conquest. Katara was quite pleased with Azula. She appeared to have the same feral edge that she always had, but now it was an asset for Zuko, instead of his possible undoing. And Azula seemed pleased to use her cunning to help Zuko. Katara still wanted the whole story, but she found herself trusting the princess more and more as this day went on.

However, when Katara looked back at Su Ling for his reply, she was met by a smug look of his own. _Still confident? What does this guy have up his sleeve?_

"I'd like to make a counter proposal, one that might please all of us, and serve our combined purposes." Katara was immediately suspicious of the dignitary. As she glanced around the room, she noticed that she was not alone. Even Azula looked shocked that her remark hadn't unseated the man. "Perhaps, the Fire Lord would consider a third party bride, one that would not be a conflict of interests for either of our nations," he continued, "Perhaps... a bride of the Water Tribes."

"Princess Kuna has already been promised to a Water Tribesman by Chief Arnook," Aang interjected.

Su Long's eye's narrowed as his smile grew, "Of course, Avatar, she is much to young, regardless. But here in our presence, we are graced by the daughter of a Water Tribe chief and the sister of his heir. The Lady Katara would be a _perfect_ match for Fire Lord Zuko."

It seemed to Katara that all of the air disappeared from the room in that instant.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews. They are what keeps me writing, I'm serious. So I wrote this chapter a long time ago as a stand alone piece and then wrote the story around it. So I edited it to fit the story as it unfolded. It's very summarized, unlike the last flashback chapters, but it's time to get it all out there. Here are all the dirty details. All of the history. Let me know what you think!**

**(I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender or the characters)**

* * *

_Fifteen Years Ago_

* * *

"You will not throw away everything we've worked for! I won't let you!"

Her blue eyes were wild as she shouted at him, tears leaking out the corners, unbidden and unstoppable.

"Don't I get a say in this, Katara? This decision isn't just about you!"

His voice was cracking now, and it was all he could do to keep a sob from escaping his throat.

"I know it's not about me, Zuko!" Still shouting. "It's about the Fire Nation. Your nation! I won't let your selfishness bring all that we've built to ashes again."

He sighed deeply. "But you won't even give us a chance." Barely a whisper.

For a moment, Katara allowed herself to pity him. And to pity herself. She knew this wouldn't be easy. It couldn't be.

"Think of your honor, Zuko." She reached for him. His scar. She caressed his face with so much tenderness it made his heart nearly burst. "You have a duty now, to your people. You have a duty to give them a true Fire Lord."

"But-" She placed a gentle finger over his protesting lips.

"And that includes a true Fire Lady."

He hung his head. Zuko had many times before compared physical pain to emotional pain. He'd felt his fair share of both. He remembered the pain he felt on the day of his banishment. He could never decide if it was his burning face or the shame of his father that hurt more. The prince discovered a new pain the day his sister's lightning tore through him. But today, he knew that nothing could hurt more than this. This was not death; there would be no peace waiting for him on the other side. Nor was it injury; there would be no healing process. This wasn't shame; no redemption possible. This was brokenness. It was enduring. He would never outlive this pain. It was eternal, and he felt it making a home in his chest.

Tears poured from both their eyes now. They sat there on the floor shaking with sobs. Katara would at least allow them that, she decided. Knowing that no one else she knew would feel this pain with her. She had to allow them this last moment of shared grief. She could sail to any other corner of the world to any of her friends or family. And while they would hurt for her, none of them would ever hurt with her. Not the way Zuko did. Not like this. She knew too, there would be no catharsis for this. She could cry every morning and night for the rest of her days, but it would never wash this shattering out of her. She and Zuko would have to bear this pain together, but apart, for the rest of their lives. She only hoped that they might someday find peace without each other.

* * *

Katara woke the next morning on the ground, curled next to Zuko's slumbering form. Her throat felt raw and her eyes stung. She realized that it was still about an hour from dawn. The waterbender didn't allow herself to consider staying. Not even for a moment. She gingerly pulled herself out of his arms and padded soundlessly across the Fire Lord's study. At his desk, she rummaged silently for a blank scroll and dipped his brush in the inkwell. Tears blurred her final strokes and Katara realized that she would not be able to correct them, as the tears would not stop. She fled down the quiet halls to the ambassador's quarters. She haphazardly shoved her belongings into a sack, and took off towards the palace doors.

It was only a few months ago that they had saved the world together. Side by side, they brought down the Phoenix King's empire, and restored balance to the world. Festivities came and went and Katara found herself accepting an offer to be an ambassador in the Fire Nation Capitol. Her nightly conversations with the new Fire Lord soon took a darker turn as they found themselves sneaking out of the palace to snuff out small uprisings of Ozai's remaining supporters.

Friends and family bid farewell as everyone returned home to rebuild. Everyone but Katara. Who found herself more and more in the Fire Lord's company. Mai sensed their connection and gracefully bowed out shortly after Katara was appointed. Zuko couldn't deny it to her. He apologized and awed at her grace.

And somewhere in the midst of all of this, Katara allowed herself to fall in love with the young Fire Lord. It wasn't the comfortable, easy love Aang had offered her. It was wild, adventurous passion. It was fire and ice and steam and everything in between. It was powerful. It turned her veins to ice and set her chest ablaze.

And one adventurous night, with adrenaline still surging through their veins after their vigilante spree, they celebrated with the balmy comfort of rice wine. They laughed and kissed, and Zuko found himself on one knee.

Hours past midnight, the young benders sprinted through the Capitol streets to the Fire Sage Temple where Zuko demanded to be married.

Katara even allowed a few days of reverie in Zuko's bedchambers. Then she awoke one early autumn morning to the familiar chill of reality. This could not be. She could never allow Zuko to announce their drunken whim officially. She could not be his Fire Lady.

The servants already whispered of the loose morals held by the Water Tribe hussie. And when the nobles found out? And his citizens? She could not be responsible for more anger. More uprisings. More blood. No, Katara had too much blood on her hands for one life time. She had seen too much war. She would not allow it.

She begged he sages to annul the union. They told her they needed the approval of the Fire Lord to annul the marriage. She found herself visiting Mai in the high noble's ring. Mai agreed with Katara's decision. She would go along politely as she had been raised to do. And with the same awesome grace that she displayed to Zuko only weeks prior.

The final step in her plan was telling Zuko. He knew though. She had known he would. They had only been married a week, and Zuko could sense it coming to an end. The evening she strolled into his study, he did not even wait for her to speak first.

And now she was gone. As the path came to a head in an alley near the harbor, Katara almost stole a final glace back at the Palace.

But she did not allow herself to.

* * *

The ship docked a week later at Whale Tail Island. There she heard of the announcement of Fire Lord Zuko and Lady Mai's royal engagement. She cried herself to sleep in an inn near port for one night before she continued on. She did not know where she was going. She had thought about it as she fled. But she ended up just purchasing passage to the first ship that was leaving port. It happened to take her to Whale Tail Island. She knew if she hung around port for another day or so, that a ship would soon be scheduled to head south to the Water Tribe. Home. The world sounded strange in her head.

For a few short months, the Fire Nation had been her home. And before that, she had no home for a whole year. She often longed to go back to the Southern Water Tribe during the war. She and Sokka would dream distantly about the day they won the war so they could go home. And here she was with the war over and peace blooming across the globe, and Home seemed still unattainable. Or perhaps, imperceptible.

Sure enough, when she checked the port schedule, the next ship to the Southern Water Tribe was two days away. Katara quickly realized that she couldn't wait that long. Her feet itched to keep running. Without a heading, all she could do was take another ship. She purchased passage aboard the earliest ship that morning and found herself on the south-western tip of the Earth Kingdom, a day later. It was a small fishing village called Tai Ben. She stayed one night in Tai Ben, and bought an ostrich horse at an auction the following morning.

After purchasing some supplies for the ride, she found herself heading inland.

Katara found the sight of the open sky at night a comfort. It reminded her of the days, only months prior, when she always had somewhere to be. Everything made more sense then, when they had a mission. And Sokka had the plans for her. And Toph had her solid support, comforting in its own rough way, for her. And Aang had his affection for her.

They all knew their purpose then. They knew where they were needed. And they went place to place, not wandering, but on their way to something greater. Katara wondered if the greatest was behind her. She snorted derisively at herself. Of course it was. She fell for something that could never be hers, and denied what was offered to her. She had ultimate victory, glory, fame. She had done the impossible, but now what.

She groaned and turned to her side, wishing for sleep on the chilled ground of the autumnal Earth Kingdom.

She would find a way. She always had. Katara stared up at the moon and said a prayer to Yue. Under the power of the full moon, tonight, she could feel the evening humidity. She could sense the moisture in the grass around her. She could even sense her own pulse. It was steady and strong.

Like me, she mused.

She began to drift off to sleep to the soft thrum of her pulse.

And then, on the brink of slumber her eyes snapped open and she jolted as if she had been falling, when of course she was not.

Her heart raced wildly.

She sensed a second pulse.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: I was able to update sooner because I wrote most of this one the same day that I published the last chapter. But I still needed to tweak it and edit it. A couple reviewers have asked me how often I update, and the answer is: I wish I had the luxury of a consistent updating schedule. But college and work are priorities, and sometimes social engagements (but not usually). Anyway, I usually just write when I can. I know where the story is going, it's just a matter of getting it out and organized and getting it onto your screens so that you can tell me what you think-_that's_ the tricky part. **

**And on that note I am really grateful for the insightful and sweet reviews I've gotten recently. But also, don't be afraid to offer some advice or criticism. This is my first fanfic (aside from a bunch of unpublished one-shots) and I'll take all the guidance I can get!**

**I don't own Avatar The Last Airbender or any of the characters. **

* * *

_Present Day_

* * *

Back in the safety of the (hopefully soundproof) dining room, Katara let out a shriek of frustration that harmonized well with a low groan from the Fire Lord.

Sokka winced at the pitch.

Azula rolled her eyes emphatically.

Everyone sat around the table again.

Katara was fuming.

Zuko surveyed the room grimly. But storm clouds were visible behind his eyes too. "The council is excused for the day." He intoned.

Bao Ling stood to protest, "My Lord, there is much to discuss about this new proposal. Perhaps, we should-"

"Excused!" The Fire Lord's tone brooked no argument. The councilmen filed out quietly. Katara, Aang, Sokka, Azula, Iroh, and Zuko remained. A painful silence stretched the span of minutes. Sokka coughed.

Azula kicked her boots onto the table loudly, "Are we going to sit here staring at our cuticles all night, or are we allowed to bring up you and Katara's spring fling?"

Aang winced at the princess's bluntness. Sokka crossed his arms and eyed his sister gauging her reaction. Katara was still fuming silently, but now staring daggers at the princess.

"Azula!" Zuko scolded.

Iroh folded his hands in his lap diplomatically, "Actually Zuko, I think this needs to be discussed. Azula smirked at her brother triumphantly.

Sokka came to his sister's aid, "What needs to be said? They shared a crush over a decade ago, so what? They grew up." Sokka tried to sound dismissive.

Aang sighed, defeated, "Sokka, I'm pretty sure everyone here knows..." He let the unfinished sentence hang in the air.

"I can't believe this is happening..." Zuko mumbled and pinched his nose.

Tears of anger threatened the corners of Katara's eyes. Or tears of humiliation. Probably both.

Azula snickered insensitively, "Look we don't need all the dirty details. All we need to know is if the ice queen is willing to bail you out." Azula waved over at Katara casually, as if they were discussing a small favor. Borrowing a few coins for dinner because you lost your wallet, letting a friend crash on the couch after drinking too much.

Sokka stood from his chair loudly, "Jerkbender is not marrying my baby sister!"

"I could never demand that of Katara!" Zuko shouted at the same time.

"_I'm right here_!" Katara shrieked. The tears ran freely down her cheeks, but she continued, unwilling to stifle her words now, "Stop talking about me like some bargaining chip!"

Zuko looked at her apologetically. "I'm sorry, Katara. I just didn't want to bring hi-"

"Who?!" Katara interrupted, clearly not finished with her tirade, "Your _son_!? Is that who you're talking about? You didn't want to bring _him_ into this? We were happy. I made a life for us. One that we could _never_ have here!"

She was shouting, and she couldn't stop, "We were happy, and then you got yourself into this _fucking mess_ and had to barge into _my_ life and uproot _my_ family!"

A sob shook her body, "Why? _Why_, Zuko? I never asked you for _anything_!"

Zuko could not look at her. What could he say to her? He buried his face in his palms. She was right. This was his fault. He'd ruined her life before. And somehow she fixed it, and made herself quite happy. And then he'd had the nerve to ruin it again.

Silence reigned for several more minutes before Aang mustered enough courage to speak, "It's not possible."

Zuko turned to look at the avatar daring him to find a solution.

Aang defended innocently, "I mean... no offense to either of you... I love you both so much... but, Lee..." Katara turned to look at the Avatar now, slowly regaining her composure. "Your son, he's well... illegitimate, right? Isn't there some rule for royalty, where they can't marry people... with illegitimate children?" Aang spoke softly, not wanting to hurt anyone further, but hopeful that he was right, and could somehow fix this mess with one easy technicality.

Iroh sighed, "I'm afraid that brings up another problem, young Avatar. Lee was, ah... conceived within wedlock. He is a legitimate son of the Fire Lord. However, out of respect for Katara's privacy, this detail was easy to overlook. That is, however, until now."

Sokka's head snapped to face his sister, "Wait-what?"

Azula looked confused as well, "Well, now _this_ is interesting."

"You guys were _married_?" Aang asked, perhaps a bit too loudly.

Katara was quickly realizing that there was no hope of keeping anything a secret anymore. It was all out on the table now.

Zuko groaned again, "Yes," the Fire Lord admitted. "We married in secret. We were young and rash. It was annulled within the week." His voice carried a small weight of emotion, but no one appeared to have picked up on it.

When the accusatory glances turned to Katara, she reluctantly nodded in confirmation. It was the deadly detail. She had hoped that she could keep it to herself forever. After worrying for the first few years, she had finally realized that Zuko had made no plans to act upon it either. And relieved, Katara continued her quiet existence.

_That is, however, until now_, as Iroh had put it.

Sokka looked utterly betrayed, "How could you not tell me, Katara?"

Katara stared at her brother and realized she felt nothing. No remorse. Her outburst had drained her, it seemed.

"Don't take it personally, I literally told no one." she said coldly.

She felt she owed no one any explanation.

_She_ was clearly the victim here! Couldn't they _see _that?

Suddenly this room seemed too small. And the conference room had had no air in it. She needed to get out of this damned Palace.

"Do not feel bad, Sokka. Zuko never told me either; I had to stumble upon the marriage certificate myself," Iroh's comforting attempt at humor fell flat.

"I must admit, I'm even shocked about this news. Mai told me about the boy, but I never knew he was legitimate." Azula added.

Katara rolled her eyes, _La-Dammit! Who _else _knew?_

"Perhaps we should return to our rooms for an hour or so and discuss this further over dinner," Iroh intoned, "The negotiations will resume tomorrow, so that we have some time to.. deliberate."

Everyone nodded in agreement. As soon as the dining room doors opened, Katara bolted for her rooms. She didn't want to give anyone in the group a chance to corner her. She needed some quiet to process the day's events.

* * *

Once in the privacy of her rooms, she decided to draw a bath. The water was almost too warm, but it did her tense muscles good. She decided to let herself really cry now. The drama of the negotiations had broken her. And on top of it all, she missed her son.

She should be home right now, on Kyoshi, writing letters or cooking dinner while her son slacked off and practiced his bending over the laundry bin out back. She was supposed to read with him by the fireplace until their eyes grew heavy. She was supposed to be pulling him in for a hug and kissing the crown of his head goodnight.

_For Tui's sake, _she'd even rather be bickering with him! Even _that _would be better than being here. She hoped he was being good for Suki. She prayed he was helping her with chores and being patient with his younger cousins.

_Of course he is, he is a good boy_.

She had no idea how it happened, but somehow she raised him well.

The spirits had mercy on her tired soul and gave her a wonderful son. But then, she guessed, they felt they had been too generous. Because here she was.

The bath water had begun to cool, and Katara lifted herself from the tub and drained it. She bent herself dry and redressed in a clean set of blue robes. She didn't want to bother with brushing her hair, so she twirled it into a neat bun.

When she stepped out of her bathroom, feeling refreshed, the Fire Lord was sitting on the edge of her bed.

So much for an hour or so of peace. "What do you want?" She inquired spitefully.

The Fire Lord flinched at her words. "We need to talk about today."

"I thought I got to wait until supper for this." Katara accused.

"No, we need to talk about it. In private."

She crossed her arms and sat in a chair across from him. "Why?"

Zuko pinched the bridge of his nose, "Look, don't make this difficult."

"Oh _I'm _the one who's making things difficult? Not _you _with _your _crisis? Not dear _Lord Su Ling_!? It's _me_, is it?!" Katara shouted.

Zuko put his hands up defensively, "You're right, you're right, that's not what I meant. I just… I need to talk to you about the… proposal." He said the word with distaste. "I don't know if your father has talked to your lately…"

Katara raised an eyebrow, suddenly curious.

"He… uhm… we've been corresponding," Zuko stammered.

Katara's face did not change, urging him to continue.

"There have been trade issues that we'd like to smooth over." Zuko blurted.

Katara quirked a brow. "What does this have to do with me? Sokka handles our father's foreign affairs. Well, most of the time."

"Well, that's just it. We've had an issue with both Fire Nation and Water Tribe citizens cheating each other in trade taxes. We've handled our own citizens individually, but there has been some mistrust since then between international private vendors. And we can't write up a formal alliance between the two of us without upsetting the Earth Kingdom. Especially, right now. So Sokka and your father's hands are kind of tied in the matter. But it could poorly effect both of our economies if we don't resolve the standoff soon." Zuko began gesticulating wildly, a surefire sign of some deep-rooted stress, if Katara's memory served.

Her face changed from a deadpan to horror as the pieces fell into place.

"You want me to solve this." She didn't yell or scream or throw anything. She spoke with an even tone and stood calmly.

That's what terrified Zuko the most. That she barely reacted at all as she processed the horror of his unasked question. The one he so dearly wished he didn't have to ask.

Katara's head spun. She was reminded of her burning desire to be home with her son again. Home. Which was not the South Pole, as she had grown up expecting. Home, which was not the Fire Nation, which she had briefly dared to hope so many years ago. Home: Kyoshi Island. With her son.

_Their son_. Any hope of conveniently avoiding that hard truth was long gone now.

She had evaded duty for so long. Things hadn't be easy, but they'd been good. She had been free of her sense of duty for fifteen years. But now she realized that her duty to the world did not stop because she had taken a break. No, it had accumulated in her absence. It was waiting for her to open the door once again, and find it a floodgate.

The world had gone on without her. Thanks to her father and her brother and even Zuko. They had done her years of favors by protecting her and she had worked up quite a debt.

But just the idea of uprooting her life with Lee sickened her.

"Listen Katara, I hope you know that I respect you. I know that you are smart and capable and I could never demand anything this unreasonable of you, but I would not be a good Fire Lord if I didn't at least try." He sighed dejectedly. "Just think about it. And know that I am sorry that I had to bring it up." He looked at her with all the dignity of a man with a bucket of water in front of a burning building. There was no hope, but he had to try.

"And Lee," Zuko continued, "I'll do whatever you think is best for him."

What would happen if she did this? How could she ever hope for a semblance of normalcy again? For her son. _Haven't I already tried to marry him? It didn't work out so well._

_That was your fault, _her conscience whispered back.

"But ultimately, I want you to make your own decision. Take your time." Zuko stood, his shoulders slumped forward, and he stared at the floor as he made his way to the armoire.

_Normalcy_? Katara asked herself. _When has my life ever been normal? When has that ever stopped me from doing the right thing?_

And hard decisions are an unavoidable part of life. She'd learned that lesson well during the war. But it seemed she needed a reminder.

Being a parent means having to make some even harder choices.

_Like Dad when he had to chose to defend his Tribe instead of stay home with his kids. It must have been hard. But it was necessary. Because people _needed _him. _

Now, here Zuko was telling her _he_ needed her. And her tribe needed her now too.

_I won't turn by back on people who need me_.

"Zuko," she whispered.

He turned to look at her, daring to hope. "Katara, you don't have to make a decision now, I know this is-"

She exhaled deeply and held up her hand to silence him. Shut up before I change my mind.

"I'll do it."

"What?" was the only word Zuko could form.

"I'll marry you."


End file.
